Good Riddance to the Golden Mile

The Golden Mile project is being canned. Good riddance, I say. It's a symbol of everything that is wrong with the city.

I'm relieved that sensible decisions are finally being made on behalf of all of us who have seen how far this city has fallen.

For years they've been determined to kill our fair city. Once upon a time I could go to Molly Mallone's for cheap grog, then dance the night away at Boogie Wonderland. Now beer is expensive, my back hurts, my wife hates me; and it's all the cycleways' fault.

I may have gotten a little older, but I'm still with it, and I know what the city needs: for everything to stay exactly the same as it was when I was 20. Except for a few small changes, of course.

The $220 million we've freed up from cancelling the Golden Mile project will go some way to covering the $4 billion required to pay for the much-needed second Mt Vic tunnel–we only need to cancel the Golden Mile 17 more times to cover the full cost.

And we must build more car parking. Every thriving city has one thing in common: lots of parked cars.

Next is to get rid of all these cycle and bus lanes. With more room to spread out, everyone will be able to drive their cars everywhere, which will improve traffic for all.

The next step is to fix the pipes, without raising rates. If we cut vanity projects like arts funding we can easily do both. After all how much could fixing the pipes really cost?

I'm so glad the city has been put in the hands of the sensible up-and-comer Andrew Little. I'm honoured he has chosen to spend his potential governing our beloved city, when he could easily have run for Prime Minister.

There is no doubt about it: the canning of the Golden Mile is the beginning of a bright future for Wellington. The way things are going, there will be Little to complain about.